Today

听着 “The Velocity Of Love” 带给我的感觉，我想你也会感觉到吧。

我的圣诞节是冷清清地，你呢？
每一年的这一年，永远都没怎样改变我的生活；而你呢？
我会幻想着与你一起度过这一天。

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It strikes my feeling wherever i go, whenever i am alone.
Perhaps that is love.
Should it be something that bothers you all the while or it is just as it is?
Think about the day to comes, when you reach your hands to me.
Looking into my eyes and say you love me, forever and ever.
How long should i wait for the moment?

Close me eyes and feel the moment.
The moment that gives chance to you and i.
The moment which i appreciate the most in my life.

The sun rises and falls, so as Love?
It comes and goes, but should i ever let you go?
A question that has been asking myself many times ago.
The answer is unknown...

完美中的不完美

光阴似箭，瑞士之旅已是过去的事了。。
大自然的周围是那么的美丽动人。
它似真又如假地引诱了人类的肉眼，慢慢地触动了人类的心灵。
就是偏偏。。。
就偏偏少了你。
在美的景色，少了你就冷淡了一切。
寒风的势力，倾诉着你的缺席。
我在寻找着那份温暖，一份最贴心的温暖。
并且也只有你能给我。

我依然等待着那份温暖。。。

it has been awhile, which i have no freaking idea why am i so lazy to go online. maybe since the day where my itunes wasn't working anymore, songs were deleted from my music folder and many problems occured to my pc. it did irritate me for quite some times until this moment. well the feeling starts to fade away cause i have to send my pc back to the factory for 'treatment'.

a call from my cool mom in the afternoon, quite few times where i almost vomit out that sentence... "mom, my pc was stolen on the fourth day after arrival..." it happened so naturally that i can't control my emotion but to tell her about that. somehow i'm so glad that i still keep that away from my mom and dad. puasa is the season where dad's business gets better every year. mom said that he wants to save labour cost and therefore didn't hire any part-time students to help him for the passed two / three years, i can't believe that i was in fact didn't know about that. how ashame i am. two funny things told by mom through the phone today. first of all, i just realized that and started to wondering whether my dad knows how to read in mandarin or understand what's going on in the news. however, he told mom a funny story!!!!! secondly, since when my dad got his own brand for all the goods he is selling in the shop??? that i got to question as mom said that customers were looking for the 'vincent brand's flour'. well i do hope that my dad got his own trademark, then i'll be a richman son. it's half passed twleve in the morning, i am sitting in front of my sick pc and type this out. elvis' voice bringing me back to the passed, still i can't feel the situation of 70s / 80s. guess i better continue my drawings before i feel guilt in tomorrow class, besides, it's a group project. should i say that i hate group project? not really, cause it makes my life easier, yet most of the time i suffered for that!!!!!

working experience at burger king is a great oppotunity for me to expose myself more to western people. ever feel that being discriminate? guess that happened to every individual. it's depend on where, when and who. to be frank, if you are bloody lucky, you sure having great time!!!!!!! which i think it happened to me at this moment and i hope that last forever.

recieving my first pay for the last 22 years of my life. i think the amount was good. maybe not for some people.

this is my working experience at burger king....

she was from other country. she is pretty, but not my type.

busybody, lazy, very miss-type kind of girl and etc.

there was the first shift that we were working at the board area, where we prepare burgers. being part of the brew member at burger king, aren't you suppose to learn? or maybe...

i was damn busy with something at one corner while she is doing nothing there, the orders pop-up in the monitor, and we are suppose to do whatever that ordered by customers. the most funiest was that she pretened nothing happened and wait until i tell her what to make...

it's very irritating if you were me.

guess that's all for now, hyperactive at this moment.

nite, andy

Guilt-Me

I do believe in Karma.
I get what i deserved.

Guilt strikes me again.
I have no excuse to forgive myself and i did not plan to do so...

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The phone rings while he was so busy packing ingredients.
I knew that because i seen that before, during Puasa.
He could not recognized my voice, guess he must be so surprised and happy to hear from me again.
I knew that because our last conversation was ages ago.
He must be so disappointed and heart broken.
I knew that because that was the same reason why i called him for the passed three years.

I am really useless.
I felt so bad for being treated him like this for so long.

I feeling shameful~

9/11

9/11 ，超非凡！

Message to you

看着你与他的爱情，你仿佛付出了太多；开心的都留给他，却把伤心的留给自己。
每次见你的时后，我虽然开心，但又非常心疼。
我真的无法接触到你，伸出双手帮你也更不值得一提。
你是否愿意为他牺牲呢？我呢？

我是真的很爱你，无论哪时哪刻；想你时就有多甜蜜，心跳也慢慢地加速。

你会爱我吗？我老实一点的问你，你此时此刻的爱，会不会因我而燃烧？
它会是越烧越猛的火，还是有头无尾的无聊爱情故事？
告诉我，你要我。。。你爱我。。。


致我爱的人

Frozen

I guess i was and am still living in the froze world of my own.
I've been freezing myself for ages, what the hack am i thinking?
Being too protective? Or nice to others while the worst liar to myself?
It probably right, my life is frozen...

三个它

(一)

他/她也许肤色，所以不满对方，并产生偏见。
他/她也许对方的眼色，所以一直生存在怨恨的日子里。
他/她也许缺少了忍耐，所以做出害人害己的傻事。
他/她也许。。。

什么东西？什么样的物质？才可以化解，满足它的需求？
他们觉得忍一时，海阔天空。
他们觉得忍一时，下次在找你算账。
他们觉得忍一时是多于的，立刻动手。

种种的可能性都有好与坏，始终没彻底填平伤过的心灵。
或许世界末日的来临，才能把一切铲平。

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(二)

天真无邪的爱，是不是很脆弱呢？
因为单方的单纯，以为恋爱了。
因为另一方的自私，所以得到名誉。

看过蛮多的爱情电影，多多少少也少不了这一套。
蒙在鼓里的爱情，彼此都是开开心心地。
所谓纸包不住火，谜底揭开了。
就这样，各往东西的路线走，距离被拉得很遥远。

只有失去过，才会有想要挽回的心态。
只有失去过，才知道彼此是同类的。
只有心碎过，才懂得珍惜。

种种的悲伤都带来醒悟，
醒悟带来坚信；
坚信带来信任，
我们最后在信任里看见爱，包容一切。。。

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(三)

事业与爱情是不是永远都不能平坐平起？
他说事业排第一，爱情第二；
她说爱情排第一，事业第二。

你会做出什么样的决定？

那么，有鸡蛋先，还是母鸡先呢？

The Smile

Have you ever seen a smile?

A smile ...

As beauty as the scene of countryside that makes you feel so calm.
As sweet as the taste of honey that you can't resist and demand for more.
As bright as the glare that lights up the darkest path of your journey of your life.
As sexy as it takes your breath away.
As powerful as the drugs that make you numb and eventually kill you silently.


Yes, i guess i found the right smile.
Though i can't really own it, it lives in my mind all the time.
And yes, that's the smile...

One day, if i ever suffered from any memory lost.
The only wish i made to God
"please do not erase The Smile i used to have."

爱情与距离

他们也许会彼此相爱。
但往往距离把他们对彼此之间的信心给降低了。

一个在东，一个却在西；白天的我在活动中，而夜晚的你却在歇息。
怎么样才能遇见大家呢？约好时间再见吗？要是有事而不能赴约呢？

是不是只有在一起，爱才会燃烧？
是不是只有距离，才是爱最大的阻拦？

再怎么多理由也好，只要一份真正的爱，
我相信距离不会把我给你的爱而受影响。

除非，爱早就不在你我心里。。。

三对一

突然间，实际的问题又再纠缠着我。
学业，工作，与金钱。 没有一样放过我。
我并不排除它们，因为它们是生活的一部分。
想了又想，终于决定了继续念书。
昨日电话里的朋友说得对，书是该念完的；可别某些问题而半途而废，然后获取一张好的文凭。
是不是真的要花那笔钱呢？ 我真的不知道。
坐在电脑银幕前的我，又再找工了。但始终没那么幸运。
有的，是我太过挑剔。是不是我任性？要求过高？
我觉得很烦，很乱。。。

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很开心，因为身边的朋友都非常的成功的踏入社会了。
比起他们，我并不算什么。
每个人都有自己的梦想，将来的打算，一切一切都好象已做好准备。
我还是犹豫不决的坐以待毙似的。

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三个月的假期已过，我还是无所事事的待在房里。要不是出街走走, 到朋友的家。
我真的不知如何是好。。。
闷不是问题。
。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。

开心电话

今天拨电给一位老好友。。。

除了样貌及生活方式以外，原来彼此都没什么改变。
讲东谈西的谈个不停。 真的舍不得的挂线，但我必须这样做，不然账单可是非常“漂亮”。

时间过得很快，转眼间发生了很多事情。好坏样样齐全。

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一样的问题，是不是该继续念书呢，还是开始工作？
原来句点的原位是还没确定的。

同样的错

火花再次的产生，我反着不该的错。。。
怎么办？

目前的结局

那段日子也该过去了，所以我觉得是时候在它尾巴刻个句点。
随然如此，我并不打算将它遗忘，而是把它从伤心的里挑出来在化为快乐的事。。。

其实做人在多数是可别太执着，因为它会带给身边的亲朋戚友感到反感及厌倦。
我就是其中一位受害者，幸好没受到任何皮外伤，但就是觉得有点烦，非常烦。。。烦死！

天气传凉了，加上最近的自然泪水，滴答滴答地洒在这星球上。
表面上，它显得很潇洒；但我相信它已经累了，也许这是它为一的倾诉。
这样也好，起码将不开心的一切真正的放掉。 慢慢地，让它们溜走；象似一片飘泊在河水面上的落叶，一路顺着流向大海。。。

所以呢，我们时常都对别人，自己说：“时间是最好的良药”。
它无色即无味，但效果有如仙丹一样劲！！！ 当然没那么快啦~


原来在国外生存并不容易！ 目前烦着找房子，处理一些这个，那个。。。



在此画上目前的结局--句点。。。

三年

短短的三年并不容易度过。
喜怒哀乐都尝试过。
但往往却把一班朋友给忽略了~

选择了离开家乡，暂时将身边的一切搁在一旁。。。再见了
后来呢，他们都一个一个的离开到外地深造。
每年的农历新年，我们都会有个聚会。。。但并不是全部都出席，因为各个有个的忙。

三年里，很多事情发生。
当然，喜怒哀乐是不会缺席的。
但我却不知道事情的来龙去脉~ 无奈吧！

2004年7月15日，我到他们那里。。。 我也忘了是我的生日，但他们为我庆祝！
虽然简单，不过那是我第一次所谓的惊喜庆祝！
鬼鬼祟祟地他们，起初并没怀疑什么，但还是被我猜到一二。

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念书的还在刻苦耐劳，等待着毕业，思考着将来要走的路。
做工的开始忙碌于工作了，踏入社会路程的起点。
日子开始艰难，路程也经常出现曲折。

你忙你的学业，我忙我的事业，他忙他的私事。
友谊的伤痕会不会因此而越裂越糟呢？

selfless love

you might give up everything you had and move to another place together with the one you love. and so you have arrived to a place which you totally unfamiliar with, yet most of the time that you have the feeling of 'i'm like an alien'.
it is sad, a really sad thing which can easily turn you down at any second.
but why are you doing this?
are you doing for the one you love or yourself?
of course, distance relationship doesn't really work out~

do you think this will happens to you? think again.

Architect vs. Astronaut

Medical doctors, microbiologists, geologists, physicists, electrical engineers and so on...

Do they need any architect????

These are those people they are looking for in the future, while i am currently struggling in architecture. Well of course i am doing something i want, but sometimes you might turn down yourself. So i was wondering is it possible for me, one day that i will travel through whatever ship to the wonderful space? Looking back to the earth and walk on the moon as well. Perhaps i'm living in my dream, like my friend said. ( i totally agree of what my friend said to me, he was damn right at this moment)

Maybe i'm crazy!

what a jokes

you know, sometimes i felt very very weird when i received certain stupid and sensitive forwarded mail which by the way didn't affect me much...

this is how it goes~ together with my own reason to the one who sent me this boring and immature stuffs!
Men Are Hard To PleaseThe problems with GUYS:
If u TREAT him nicely, he says u are IN LOVE with him
- that's because you are! besides, too obvious!
If u Don't, he says u are PROUD
- hmm... then you better go for some facial treatment / better still, take off your mask! LOL
If u DRESS Nicely, he says u are trying to LURE him
- maybe not, cause that's what you think! in fact, the way you dress sucks!
If u Don't, he says u are from KAMPUNG
- then i got to say you met the wrong guy... who asked you to fall in love with that city boy?
If u ARGUE with him, he says u are STUBBORN
- maybe you are still arguing the same old thing... therefore you are pretty stubborn.
If u keep QUIET, he says u have no BRAINS
- hai~ should i feel sorry for you again? falling to a guy who's almost a geek!
If u are SMARTER than him, he'll lose FACE
- cause the thing that you are smart at, which i refer to 7+1, wasn't something really good...
If he's Smarter than u, he is GREAT
- well that's all the geeks do!!! LOL
If u don't Love him, he tries to POSSESS u
- you know what... no one wants you except the nerd that you love!
If u Love him, he will try to LEAVE u.(very true huh?)
- because there must be something he obviously don't like about you... take a piece of mirror and take a look at yourself then you might find the answer! he leaves you is better than telling you that you are suck!
If u don't MAKE LOVE with him., he says u don't Love him
- do you carry any contagious disease??? cause healthy lifestyle is very important! if you planning to die then PLEASE don't ask for company!
If u do!! he says u are CHEAP
- of course, cause you don't appreciate yourself at all!
If u tell him your PROBLEM, he says u are TROUBLESOME
- that's because all your problems are nonsense!
If u don't, he says that u don't TRUST him
- that's because you lied to him too many times, and please stop saying that : Ooo, i never lie to the one i love...
If u SCOLD him, u are like a NANNY to him
- that could happen, because you do look like a nanny to him!
If he SCOLDS u, it is because he CARES for u
- wondering how you ever fall in love with that guy??!!!
If u BREAK your PROMISE, u Cannot be TRUSTED
- as i said, everyone did tell lies
If he BREAKS his, he is FORCED to do so
- ya, you forced him!
If u do WELL in your exams, he says it's LUCK
- only your geek lover will says that to you. cause a guy who really loves you wouldn't have say that.
If he does WELL, it's BRAINS.
- that's what you thought!
If u HURT him, u are CRUEL
- think back, all those things you have done to him... aren't you cruel?
If he HURTS u, u are too SENSITIVE!!
- did he say that? see! you are totally sensitive!

& sooo hard to please!!!!!
If u send this to guys, they will swear that it's not true.......but if u don't, they say u are selfish.....The moral of the story is.......SEND THIS TO GUYS OUT THERE ANYWAY... Send it to girls also, gives them some laughter ....


the above forwarded mail and the response from me... i only take it as a joke. if you think it's the fact, you are most likely ..... you know!!!! LOL

by the way, ladies... the above thingy isn't related to you BUT THE STUPID SENDER...

and find a guy who really loves you more than you do~ the true love will gives you a satisfy needs that you wanted for so long... trust me!

It

How does it look like? Does it have a look or any physical appearance?
It lives inside us and spread silently around the living souls.
It is something which can be happy/sad, sweet/sour, warm/cold...
It comes and goes at the right time, no one will ever knows exactly when it comes and goes, because it is sort of surprise in between you and i.

There are people who wanted it for so much, demanding it from day until night; still they got nothing, sad ending? In contrary, there are some people who think they don't need it. I live, work and do anything just to keep myself alive. Perhaps, selfless and selfish balance up the universe of it.

When the right time comes, you will know the answer...

Thoughts by you

[Perhaps i should have put it this way...]

something is already out there, which has been waiting for me for ages.
it is nice, beauty, and natural. what should i do? take it or should i stay the same?
but i just can't appreciate that.
was it my fault? no one knows that, cause it's only me knowing the answer for so many years.

are those excuses help?
are those lies able to hold the trust of others as long as they can?
but one day, the truth will reveal and change the path of my journey.

will you still see me like before?
will you still treat me like you used to be?

please don't leave me stuck in the middle of nowhere...
maybe i should go, wherever. a place where allows me to be strong again!! maybe i really should.

~safe me please, someone~



[dedicated to somebody]