9/11

9/11 ，超非凡！

Message to you

看着你与他的爱情，你仿佛付出了太多；开心的都留给他，却把伤心的留给自己。
每次见你的时后，我虽然开心，但又非常心疼。
我真的无法接触到你，伸出双手帮你也更不值得一提。
你是否愿意为他牺牲呢？我呢？

我是真的很爱你，无论哪时哪刻；想你时就有多甜蜜，心跳也慢慢地加速。

你会爱我吗？我老实一点的问你，你此时此刻的爱，会不会因我而燃烧？
它会是越烧越猛的火，还是有头无尾的无聊爱情故事？
告诉我，你要我。。。你爱我。。。


致我爱的人

Frozen

I guess i was and am still living in the froze world of my own.
I've been freezing myself for ages, what the hack am i thinking?
Being too protective? Or nice to others while the worst liar to myself?
It probably right, my life is frozen...

三个它

(一)

他/她也许肤色，所以不满对方，并产生偏见。
他/她也许对方的眼色，所以一直生存在怨恨的日子里。
他/她也许缺少了忍耐，所以做出害人害己的傻事。
他/她也许。。。

什么东西？什么样的物质？才可以化解，满足它的需求？
他们觉得忍一时，海阔天空。
他们觉得忍一时，下次在找你算账。
他们觉得忍一时是多于的，立刻动手。

种种的可能性都有好与坏，始终没彻底填平伤过的心灵。
或许世界末日的来临，才能把一切铲平。

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(二)

天真无邪的爱，是不是很脆弱呢？
因为单方的单纯，以为恋爱了。
因为另一方的自私，所以得到名誉。

看过蛮多的爱情电影，多多少少也少不了这一套。
蒙在鼓里的爱情，彼此都是开开心心地。
所谓纸包不住火，谜底揭开了。
就这样，各往东西的路线走，距离被拉得很遥远。

只有失去过，才会有想要挽回的心态。
只有失去过，才知道彼此是同类的。
只有心碎过，才懂得珍惜。

种种的悲伤都带来醒悟，
醒悟带来坚信；
坚信带来信任，
我们最后在信任里看见爱，包容一切。。。

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(三)

事业与爱情是不是永远都不能平坐平起？
他说事业排第一，爱情第二；
她说爱情排第一，事业第二。

你会做出什么样的决定？

那么，有鸡蛋先，还是母鸡先呢？

The Smile

Have you ever seen a smile?

A smile ...

As beauty as the scene of countryside that makes you feel so calm.
As sweet as the taste of honey that you can't resist and demand for more.
As bright as the glare that lights up the darkest path of your journey of your life.
As sexy as it takes your breath away.
As powerful as the drugs that make you numb and eventually kill you silently.


Yes, i guess i found the right smile.
Though i can't really own it, it lives in my mind all the time.
And yes, that's the smile...

One day, if i ever suffered from any memory lost.
The only wish i made to God
"please do not erase The Smile i used to have."

爱情与距离

他们也许会彼此相爱。
但往往距离把他们对彼此之间的信心给降低了。

一个在东，一个却在西；白天的我在活动中，而夜晚的你却在歇息。
怎么样才能遇见大家呢？约好时间再见吗？要是有事而不能赴约呢？

是不是只有在一起，爱才会燃烧？
是不是只有距离，才是爱最大的阻拦？

再怎么多理由也好，只要一份真正的爱，
我相信距离不会把我给你的爱而受影响。

除非，爱早就不在你我心里。。。

三对一

突然间，实际的问题又再纠缠着我。
学业，工作，与金钱。 没有一样放过我。
我并不排除它们，因为它们是生活的一部分。
想了又想，终于决定了继续念书。
昨日电话里的朋友说得对，书是该念完的；可别某些问题而半途而废，然后获取一张好的文凭。
是不是真的要花那笔钱呢？ 我真的不知道。
坐在电脑银幕前的我，又再找工了。但始终没那么幸运。
有的，是我太过挑剔。是不是我任性？要求过高？
我觉得很烦，很乱。。。

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很开心，因为身边的朋友都非常的成功的踏入社会了。
比起他们，我并不算什么。
每个人都有自己的梦想，将来的打算，一切一切都好象已做好准备。
我还是犹豫不决的坐以待毙似的。

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三个月的假期已过，我还是无所事事的待在房里。要不是出街走走, 到朋友的家。
我真的不知如何是好。。。
闷不是问题。
。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。

开心电话

今天拨电给一位老好友。。。

除了样貌及生活方式以外，原来彼此都没什么改变。
讲东谈西的谈个不停。 真的舍不得的挂线，但我必须这样做，不然账单可是非常“漂亮”。

时间过得很快，转眼间发生了很多事情。好坏样样齐全。

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一样的问题，是不是该继续念书呢，还是开始工作？
原来句点的原位是还没确定的。

同样的错

火花再次的产生，我反着不该的错。。。
怎么办？

目前的结局

那段日子也该过去了，所以我觉得是时候在它尾巴刻个句点。
随然如此，我并不打算将它遗忘，而是把它从伤心的里挑出来在化为快乐的事。。。

其实做人在多数是可别太执着，因为它会带给身边的亲朋戚友感到反感及厌倦。
我就是其中一位受害者，幸好没受到任何皮外伤，但就是觉得有点烦，非常烦。。。烦死！

天气传凉了，加上最近的自然泪水，滴答滴答地洒在这星球上。
表面上，它显得很潇洒；但我相信它已经累了，也许这是它为一的倾诉。
这样也好，起码将不开心的一切真正的放掉。 慢慢地，让它们溜走；象似一片飘泊在河水面上的落叶，一路顺着流向大海。。。

所以呢，我们时常都对别人，自己说：“时间是最好的良药”。
它无色即无味，但效果有如仙丹一样劲！！！ 当然没那么快啦~


原来在国外生存并不容易！ 目前烦着找房子，处理一些这个，那个。。。



在此画上目前的结局--句点。。。

三年

短短的三年并不容易度过。
喜怒哀乐都尝试过。
但往往却把一班朋友给忽略了~

选择了离开家乡，暂时将身边的一切搁在一旁。。。再见了
后来呢，他们都一个一个的离开到外地深造。
每年的农历新年，我们都会有个聚会。。。但并不是全部都出席，因为各个有个的忙。

三年里，很多事情发生。
当然，喜怒哀乐是不会缺席的。
但我却不知道事情的来龙去脉~ 无奈吧！

2004年7月15日，我到他们那里。。。 我也忘了是我的生日，但他们为我庆祝！
虽然简单，不过那是我第一次所谓的惊喜庆祝！
鬼鬼祟祟地他们，起初并没怀疑什么，但还是被我猜到一二。

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念书的还在刻苦耐劳，等待着毕业，思考着将来要走的路。
做工的开始忙碌于工作了，踏入社会路程的起点。
日子开始艰难，路程也经常出现曲折。

你忙你的学业，我忙我的事业，他忙他的私事。
友谊的伤痕会不会因此而越裂越糟呢？

selfless love

you might give up everything you had and move to another place together with the one you love. and so you have arrived to a place which you totally unfamiliar with, yet most of the time that you have the feeling of 'i'm like an alien'.
it is sad, a really sad thing which can easily turn you down at any second.
but why are you doing this?
are you doing for the one you love or yourself?
of course, distance relationship doesn't really work out~

do you think this will happens to you? think again.

Architect vs. Astronaut

Medical doctors, microbiologists, geologists, physicists, electrical engineers and so on...

Do they need any architect????

These are those people they are looking for in the future, while i am currently struggling in architecture. Well of course i am doing something i want, but sometimes you might turn down yourself. So i was wondering is it possible for me, one day that i will travel through whatever ship to the wonderful space? Looking back to the earth and walk on the moon as well. Perhaps i'm living in my dream, like my friend said. ( i totally agree of what my friend said to me, he was damn right at this moment)

Maybe i'm crazy!

what a jokes

you know, sometimes i felt very very weird when i received certain stupid and sensitive forwarded mail which by the way didn't affect me much...

this is how it goes~ together with my own reason to the one who sent me this boring and immature stuffs!
Men Are Hard To PleaseThe problems with GUYS:
If u TREAT him nicely, he says u are IN LOVE with him
- that's because you are! besides, too obvious!
If u Don't, he says u are PROUD
- hmm... then you better go for some facial treatment / better still, take off your mask! LOL
If u DRESS Nicely, he says u are trying to LURE him
- maybe not, cause that's what you think! in fact, the way you dress sucks!
If u Don't, he says u are from KAMPUNG
- then i got to say you met the wrong guy... who asked you to fall in love with that city boy?
If u ARGUE with him, he says u are STUBBORN
- maybe you are still arguing the same old thing... therefore you are pretty stubborn.
If u keep QUIET, he says u have no BRAINS
- hai~ should i feel sorry for you again? falling to a guy who's almost a geek!
If u are SMARTER than him, he'll lose FACE
- cause the thing that you are smart at, which i refer to 7+1, wasn't something really good...
If he's Smarter than u, he is GREAT
- well that's all the geeks do!!! LOL
If u don't Love him, he tries to POSSESS u
- you know what... no one wants you except the nerd that you love!
If u Love him, he will try to LEAVE u.(very true huh?)
- because there must be something he obviously don't like about you... take a piece of mirror and take a look at yourself then you might find the answer! he leaves you is better than telling you that you are suck!
If u don't MAKE LOVE with him., he says u don't Love him
- do you carry any contagious disease??? cause healthy lifestyle is very important! if you planning to die then PLEASE don't ask for company!
If u do!! he says u are CHEAP
- of course, cause you don't appreciate yourself at all!
If u tell him your PROBLEM, he says u are TROUBLESOME
- that's because all your problems are nonsense!
If u don't, he says that u don't TRUST him
- that's because you lied to him too many times, and please stop saying that : Ooo, i never lie to the one i love...
If u SCOLD him, u are like a NANNY to him
- that could happen, because you do look like a nanny to him!
If he SCOLDS u, it is because he CARES for u
- wondering how you ever fall in love with that guy??!!!
If u BREAK your PROMISE, u Cannot be TRUSTED
- as i said, everyone did tell lies
If he BREAKS his, he is FORCED to do so
- ya, you forced him!
If u do WELL in your exams, he says it's LUCK
- only your geek lover will says that to you. cause a guy who really loves you wouldn't have say that.
If he does WELL, it's BRAINS.
- that's what you thought!
If u HURT him, u are CRUEL
- think back, all those things you have done to him... aren't you cruel?
If he HURTS u, u are too SENSITIVE!!
- did he say that? see! you are totally sensitive!

& sooo hard to please!!!!!
If u send this to guys, they will swear that it's not true.......but if u don't, they say u are selfish.....The moral of the story is.......SEND THIS TO GUYS OUT THERE ANYWAY... Send it to girls also, gives them some laughter ....


the above forwarded mail and the response from me... i only take it as a joke. if you think it's the fact, you are most likely ..... you know!!!! LOL

by the way, ladies... the above thingy isn't related to you BUT THE STUPID SENDER...

and find a guy who really loves you more than you do~ the true love will gives you a satisfy needs that you wanted for so long... trust me!

It

How does it look like? Does it have a look or any physical appearance?
It lives inside us and spread silently around the living souls.
It is something which can be happy/sad, sweet/sour, warm/cold...
It comes and goes at the right time, no one will ever knows exactly when it comes and goes, because it is sort of surprise in between you and i.

There are people who wanted it for so much, demanding it from day until night; still they got nothing, sad ending? In contrary, there are some people who think they don't need it. I live, work and do anything just to keep myself alive. Perhaps, selfless and selfish balance up the universe of it.

When the right time comes, you will know the answer...

Thoughts by you

[Perhaps i should have put it this way...]

something is already out there, which has been waiting for me for ages.
it is nice, beauty, and natural. what should i do? take it or should i stay the same?
but i just can't appreciate that.
was it my fault? no one knows that, cause it's only me knowing the answer for so many years.

are those excuses help?
are those lies able to hold the trust of others as long as they can?
but one day, the truth will reveal and change the path of my journey.

will you still see me like before?
will you still treat me like you used to be?

please don't leave me stuck in the middle of nowhere...
maybe i should go, wherever. a place where allows me to be strong again!! maybe i really should.

~safe me please, someone~



[dedicated to somebody]

当你累了，你想做什么？ 是不是只有休息才能让你真正的休息，还是看见一个人呢？

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我已经很努力地等着你的出现，但彼此之间还隔着沉默。。。
你不在多笑一回，为什么？
我真的很累。。。 累到一滴泪也不再为你我而流，也许是多数次的失败而炼成！
我不想就这样放弃你，因为我是真的真的爱着你。
日子随然很短，但感情已慢慢地陷入深渊。


北极星 带我走 别躲藏 把爱找出来 我爱你 每一夜
我等待 我的心 为了爱
<李纹_月光爱人>


似乎每首动人的情歌都在倾诉着我的心。但然我也希望好的始终会回来我身边。


为了你，我还是会等待。。。

Thoughts and dream

Perhaps i thought too much during day time, and therefore i had lots of weird dreams lately...


Mom and dad were waiting for me in the living area of my students accomodation. It was my last day in that room which i supposed to pack all my stuffs before the dead line. However, thing turns out the other way round. I ran all over the apartment to collect my clothes, this is the first time that i realized i am so terrible messed!


I was waiting for my dad to have dinner together in the dining area. I kept waiting until i lost my patience and walked into the kitchen... He was there cooking curry chicken!!!~
(there were many things happened in between, i really have no idea what are they, too bad)


I went into a bus, should be a school bus, i think so. I met some friends, my brother. Something was so wrong with him, he seemed not recognize me anymore. He wore so smart and went to into a pub with his friend, an old guy.

I ran all the way to the toilet beside the swimming pool. Cause there was a phonebooth, i had to make a call to someone that i don't know. Now i seem to recall that scene, it was a club. Made of wooden planks, advanced and hi-tech. I think it is the same building...

the 'ing'

clock is ticking...
shares are up and down-ing...
many things are growing...
things in my mind are wondering, changing, and etc-ing...

so please tell me is there anything which is not moving!


............................

Dreams

It came suddenly. It started from the beginning til' the end. It was awesome!
I met my family, they laughed happily~
I was back to the place where i born, it was blur, but it was touchy.
Someone appeared... I don't know how we met, i don't know why we were so close, and i really don't know that we were...
The someone bought me a gift, a nice gift which suits me!
We had meal together with some people, i had to leave; others were still around, we waved and said goodbye to each other... How desperate i was to give the someone a goodbye kiss~


I did managed to send a goodbye kiss to the someone, the sweetest moment.

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Few days ago, i had another dream.

We were at somewhere like a river. A shallow, crystal clear rive and long river.
It was surrounded by nature plants. The sun was so bright and warm. Birds were flying everywhere.

We were swimming in the water. As a roll we formed, slowly we swimmed from one end to another end. We didn't manage to swim to the end of the river but we stopped somewhere in the middle of the river...

We walked on a wooden platform partially covered by a roof, sort of like pedestrian.
Slowly we reached an entrance which leads us to a big aquarium. Between the aquarium and the sea, there was a partition which was strongly built to divide the two areas. Another structure was eracted on top of it. It looks fake, but it looks so real at the same time.

The waves were so strong! Dolphins managed to swim into the aquarium as well as others fishes. The seawater slowly rose and gradually flooded the aquarium. We had to evacute as soon as possible...

There was a huge fish, it was pregnant. I saw blood slowly spreaded in the water, i can sense the baby is coming out soon! Everything seems to be very very busy! Everyone ran for their own lives...
.......................


Phew~ That's all i had and i woke up in shocked! I wish i know the ending...